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Monday, May 7, 2012

The First Variable: Life

Life is a social experiment gone wrong, and I don’t know who to blame.

Maybe it’s my parents’ fault, or maybe the Universe, or maybe God. Maybe those all are the same thing in some mystical, syfy way that  can’t be understood. All that matters is that in a couple of seconds my mother is about to humiliate me beyond repair, and I can’t stop her because society has decided it would be rude.
               Let us pray.
                               ~ Mental Note (La La)

People like to assume that I actually care about their lives. For once and for all, let me set the matter straight. I do not care whatsoever. Though I might conform to societies wishes and portray myself as nice, easygoing, likable girl, I am actually disgusted with ninety-ninety percent of people I come into contact with.
               Lets take Marty Fits for example. Here is what might be considered a decent human being. At first, second, and third glance, he seems to be a decent –and I quote my parents – “young man.” Yes, it is true that everything in his dress, air, and manner are pleasing. That is until you get in his business. Take me for example. An innocent bystander, walking down the halls, when suddenly I over hear what might potentially be a very juicy fight.
It is my God and Constitutional right (which one should I place first? Just a thought) to walk where  I may, and neither rain nor government nor angry teenager (oh my!) will get in my way.
“I need it now! I have to met with these Stupid parents today and I can’t function without it,” says the voice of the infamous, the loved, Marty Fits.
Who wouldn’t investigate further?
I sneak into the abandoned hall, and creep behind the door.

“No cash no stuff. That's the deal.”
This eloquent speech is followed by a bang and a string of curse words (I figure I won’t say them if I don’t write them). Figuring this was the time to make my exit, I slowly back away from the door. I am usually a very stealthy person, so it must’ve been some sketchy fate that a trash can magically appeared behind me.
“What the…?” The magically Marty crashed through the front door. I was frozen in mid squat, sinking deeper and deeper into the floor with each nano second.

Now, in thinking back, maybe it wasn’t the smartest move, but in my defense…
What’s a girl to do?


       Like I said, life is a social experiment gone wrong.

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